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Just got home from the eye specialist.
I have a padding thingy taped over my numb left eye. It feels wierd 'cos the left eye keeps drifting just open and making my sight come over with a veil of dark closedness, which looks remarkably like the beginnings of the snowed-tv vision I get before I faint, but everything is still in colour, not black and white.
The specialist guy called me into the room, asked me a couple of questions (lit. "Why are you here, what's wrong?" and "What drugs are you taking?"), put drops in my eye, did the vision acuity test, asked me if the lack of visual acuity in my left eye was normal (to which I did not respond with "That's why I wear glasses, dude!" - it's more than my glasses are prescribed for, but I was sorely tempted), then looked at my eye and eyelid with the eye doctor face harness and magnifying thingy. "Yes, it's a chalazion, I'm going to have to incise it" says the doctor and motions me into the back room. He swabs my eyelid with betadine, puts more drops in my eye, and puts in the fricking' needle for the anaesthetic. I have mentioned before that needles hurt. All needles. On a scale of 1 (what they're supposed to feel like) through 5 (arm) to 10 (roof of mouth) this was about a prolonged and twitchy four.
My arm is aching where my last needle was, though.
I get to hold padding on my eye really hard, which is freaky since I can feel the spreading numbness underneath, but apparently I didn't hold it hard enough for it all to spread properly, so the doctor, having poked FUCKING HARD on my EYEBALL to check, swabs again with betadine and pushes as hard as I need to push with the padding to show me how much, and goes out to talk to the next patient. While he is out I text Bastard and tell him what is happening, since I was expecting this to be just an appointment to see if I needed to have needles and scalpels and stuff, not the actual sharp things, and he needed to be at training in about half an hour at this point.
Eventually the doctor comes back in and pokes again. Evidently it's all good this time, because then he gets out a little screwclamp and tells me he's going to put it on my eyelid. I'm glad I read up on this all, because otherwise I would have freaked out worse at this point, as well as having my normal needle adrenaline arghs. So he takes the little clamp thing, flicks it around my eyelid skin and tightens it. I'm sure I'm not supposed to feel it through the anaesthetic, but it doesn't hurt and it's very far away so I'm OK. Then he turns the eyelid up, and let me tell you, unlike when I turn my own eyelid up, I can't see since either my eyeball is squooshed down or my lower lid is coming up to compensate, or my eyeball is rolling down in it's socket 'cos it's freaking out quietly, just like me. I'm glad I can't see the scalpelling of my eyelid. He basically stabbed it, then fucked around with a probe, which felt a lot like a dentist using a pick on your teeth, except I can feel it all like someone is poking through my sinuses to my brain. Doesn't hurt, but I'm whimpering with the wierd feeling of picking and poking and at one point, swirling around. Yes, I know, I just switched to present tense instead of past tense. So sue me. Or make my lactose-free cocoa.
Then he takes the clamp off, plays with the eyelid some more, puts the clamp on again and fucks around some more.
Finally he takes it off for the last time, puts cream on my eyelid margin and pads then tapes. I ask him to get Bastard to listen to the instructions for aftercare (as I've had a needle and I don't remember details consciously well) he tells me that there's not much, gives me some instructions, I repeat them back to him, dubiously 'cos I'm already forgetting what he said, then he calls Bastard in and repeats them. Good doctor pat him on the head.
Bastard had to go to training, so he dropped me off near home, and went. So here I am, eye slowly regaining feeling.
Feels good to be doing something.
I have a padding thingy taped over my numb left eye. It feels wierd 'cos the left eye keeps drifting just open and making my sight come over with a veil of dark closedness, which looks remarkably like the beginnings of the snowed-tv vision I get before I faint, but everything is still in colour, not black and white.
The specialist guy called me into the room, asked me a couple of questions (lit. "Why are you here, what's wrong?" and "What drugs are you taking?"), put drops in my eye, did the vision acuity test, asked me if the lack of visual acuity in my left eye was normal (to which I did not respond with "That's why I wear glasses, dude!" - it's more than my glasses are prescribed for, but I was sorely tempted), then looked at my eye and eyelid with the eye doctor face harness and magnifying thingy. "Yes, it's a chalazion, I'm going to have to incise it" says the doctor and motions me into the back room. He swabs my eyelid with betadine, puts more drops in my eye, and puts in the fricking' needle for the anaesthetic. I have mentioned before that needles hurt. All needles. On a scale of 1 (what they're supposed to feel like) through 5 (arm) to 10 (roof of mouth) this was about a prolonged and twitchy four.
My arm is aching where my last needle was, though.
I get to hold padding on my eye really hard, which is freaky since I can feel the spreading numbness underneath, but apparently I didn't hold it hard enough for it all to spread properly, so the doctor, having poked FUCKING HARD on my EYEBALL to check, swabs again with betadine and pushes as hard as I need to push with the padding to show me how much, and goes out to talk to the next patient. While he is out I text Bastard and tell him what is happening, since I was expecting this to be just an appointment to see if I needed to have needles and scalpels and stuff, not the actual sharp things, and he needed to be at training in about half an hour at this point.
Eventually the doctor comes back in and pokes again. Evidently it's all good this time, because then he gets out a little screwclamp and tells me he's going to put it on my eyelid. I'm glad I read up on this all, because otherwise I would have freaked out worse at this point, as well as having my normal needle adrenaline arghs. So he takes the little clamp thing, flicks it around my eyelid skin and tightens it. I'm sure I'm not supposed to feel it through the anaesthetic, but it doesn't hurt and it's very far away so I'm OK. Then he turns the eyelid up, and let me tell you, unlike when I turn my own eyelid up, I can't see since either my eyeball is squooshed down or my lower lid is coming up to compensate, or my eyeball is rolling down in it's socket 'cos it's freaking out quietly, just like me. I'm glad I can't see the scalpelling of my eyelid. He basically stabbed it, then fucked around with a probe, which felt a lot like a dentist using a pick on your teeth, except I can feel it all like someone is poking through my sinuses to my brain. Doesn't hurt, but I'm whimpering with the wierd feeling of picking and poking and at one point, swirling around. Yes, I know, I just switched to present tense instead of past tense. So sue me. Or make my lactose-free cocoa.
Then he takes the clamp off, plays with the eyelid some more, puts the clamp on again and fucks around some more.
Finally he takes it off for the last time, puts cream on my eyelid margin and pads then tapes. I ask him to get Bastard to listen to the instructions for aftercare (as I've had a needle and I don't remember details consciously well) he tells me that there's not much, gives me some instructions, I repeat them back to him, dubiously 'cos I'm already forgetting what he said, then he calls Bastard in and repeats them. Good doctor pat him on the head.
Bastard had to go to training, so he dropped me off near home, and went. So here I am, eye slowly regaining feeling.
Feels good to be doing something.
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From:
Re: don't read if you're squeamish. Just no.
Visuals of syringes, though, I don't deal too well with those. Phobias are great things, even if they're controllable enough to be subjected to the object of said phobia yearly - I'm a lot better with said visuals after we started the yearly blood-taking, too.
The worst thing I've ever done to myself that left a visible scar was slicing my thumb with a meat knife. There was a cold roast, I was hungry, and not particularly coordinated... The scar runs from just outside of the midline of the thumb around to the nail, nearish the end. In total, it's about a centimetre long. That's my biggest scar. For some reason I do stupid things, and either don't get hurt, or don't get scars.
And the astigmatism is already a little better (not fixed, but improved), so I'm happy.
From:
Re: don't read if you're squeamish. Just no.
I've many scars from various frivolities, one being an institched knife wound on my elbow. Awesome when you have to deal with someone on a bad acid trip in the kitchen with said knife.
I think I've seen enough of my own blood that it doesn't bother me, but with that said (and I know I shouldn't laugh, but...) there was a guy I worked with who didn't deal with blood to the point that he went to the bathroom to check on a blood nose. Saw it in the mirror, proceeded to pass out, and get a nice concussion from hitting his noggin on the back wall. C'mon, that's awesome irony!
From:
Re: don't read if you're squeamish. Just no.
And yeah, that's gorgeous irony!