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Well, rung Defense people to confirm my appointment for testing for Reserves, now all I need to do is finish filling in forms.
So why do I want to join?
1) It's a very physical thing to do where people cannot try to stop me from participating on the grounds that I am short/female. Yes, those two things are not advantages. But if I can jump over a fence that's the same height as me (can't quite, but 4 1/2 feet and I can vault it), they're not supposed to prevent me from doing so. I get quite tired of that in civilian life. I get tired of people trying to take boxes from me that I can quite easily carry, or 'help' in other ways when I have responded 'no' to any offer of help. 'That looks heavy, why don't you leave it here instead of carrying it around' is a common comment, to which I usually reply 'No thanks, I'd forget it and go home without it'. And then they say the same thing next week. Because they're 'helpful' or 'nice' or 'fussing'. There are times I like being fussed over, and that's not often.
2) The challenge. Honestly, at 5 ft 2, I'm smaller than most. And Army training is bloody hard. I like being challenged like that. I don't get challenged very often. Again, the female thing, and the fact that most of my female friends (who might otherwise join in a challenge) live rather sedentary lives.
3) I like to help. I like to do things that make me feel useful. And with the way Australia has been using its defense forces overseas in recent years, the Reserves are a useful unit, making it possible for more full-time soldiers to serve overseas without compromising home defenses.
4) I have very little confidence without a known structure. Army = structure.
5) I need to learn the art of leadership and dealing with people. The Army has very good training programs for that.
6)I badly need to learn how to deal with people yelling at me. At the moment, I cannot tell the difference between people yelling because they hate me and people yelling because they're angry and need to let off steam and people yelling because they need to get a life. I expect that I will get yelled at a lot in the army - soldiers need to respond to commands instantly without arguing, and yelling at people is a way of instilling that. I also expect people to be yelling insults at me - it's a way for them to find any cracks in my mental make-up which will be fatal in the field. I believe that having this much abuse hurled at me (for 45 days in basic training) in a known and controlled situation, where there is no question of it being abusive (if any one person is picked on more than anyone else, that's abusive, and abusive behaviour by officers and fellow soldiers leads to no trust in those officers and/or soldiers, and hence to bad soldiers and officers, so abusive behaviour is not tolerated, or so we have been informed), will give me a little perspective on that part of my anxiety. When I know there is a reason other than 'this person hates me' for people yelling, than I can deal with it a lot better than if I don't know.
Those are the only reasons I can think of at the moment. More to be added as I think of them.
So why do I want to join?
1) It's a very physical thing to do where people cannot try to stop me from participating on the grounds that I am short/female. Yes, those two things are not advantages. But if I can jump over a fence that's the same height as me (can't quite, but 4 1/2 feet and I can vault it), they're not supposed to prevent me from doing so. I get quite tired of that in civilian life. I get tired of people trying to take boxes from me that I can quite easily carry, or 'help' in other ways when I have responded 'no' to any offer of help. 'That looks heavy, why don't you leave it here instead of carrying it around' is a common comment, to which I usually reply 'No thanks, I'd forget it and go home without it'. And then they say the same thing next week. Because they're 'helpful' or 'nice' or 'fussing'. There are times I like being fussed over, and that's not often.
2) The challenge. Honestly, at 5 ft 2, I'm smaller than most. And Army training is bloody hard. I like being challenged like that. I don't get challenged very often. Again, the female thing, and the fact that most of my female friends (who might otherwise join in a challenge) live rather sedentary lives.
3) I like to help. I like to do things that make me feel useful. And with the way Australia has been using its defense forces overseas in recent years, the Reserves are a useful unit, making it possible for more full-time soldiers to serve overseas without compromising home defenses.
4) I have very little confidence without a known structure. Army = structure.
5) I need to learn the art of leadership and dealing with people. The Army has very good training programs for that.
6)I badly need to learn how to deal with people yelling at me. At the moment, I cannot tell the difference between people yelling because they hate me and people yelling because they're angry and need to let off steam and people yelling because they need to get a life. I expect that I will get yelled at a lot in the army - soldiers need to respond to commands instantly without arguing, and yelling at people is a way of instilling that. I also expect people to be yelling insults at me - it's a way for them to find any cracks in my mental make-up which will be fatal in the field. I believe that having this much abuse hurled at me (for 45 days in basic training) in a known and controlled situation, where there is no question of it being abusive (if any one person is picked on more than anyone else, that's abusive, and abusive behaviour by officers and fellow soldiers leads to no trust in those officers and/or soldiers, and hence to bad soldiers and officers, so abusive behaviour is not tolerated, or so we have been informed), will give me a little perspective on that part of my anxiety. When I know there is a reason other than 'this person hates me' for people yelling, than I can deal with it a lot better than if I don't know.
Those are the only reasons I can think of at the moment. More to be added as I think of them.