Out-of-date news...

More bridge weekend before last - trials for the State Womens' Team. Mum and I just scraped in after what seemed to be only three, maybe four good matches out of 10... Out of 14 pairs who went onto the Finals (which started yesterday) we were either 12th or 13th, depending on who was doing the IMP countback. With 2 VPs less, we'd have been out of the Finals. I don't think we'll get into the Team this year, Mum's working too hard to be rested enough to play coherently, and I'm more focused on the Youth Team, for which it is my second-last year.

Still, I am getting a lot of bitterness about the way I was brought up out of my system in the car when Mum takes me home afterwards. It's been a long time getting her to the point where she's strong enough to hear me speak. She's still not there yet, but me talking about some of the things that have bothered me as they come up in references from other things (placeboid, your study was mentioned in the current ABF Newsletter, which was not on their website last time I looked, but it sparked the discussion about Mum and Dad being too tired from work to notice that s*** like that happened, and everyone else assuming that Mum and Dad were protecting me from it... Thanks. I needed to get a little of that anger, and the accumulated fear of many years, out) has given her more things to pray to her god about, for self-forgiveness and less self-guilt-tripping, knowing Mum.

This is good for me. Not so good for her, but I'm trying to let go of the protectiveness slowly. But Mum's so fragile, emotionally, much more than me (which says something...), and I want to take care of her, but I'll be damned if I keep doing so at my own expense.

More out-of-date news

Also, I have started singing lessons again. Dad has been bugging me to take singing lessons ever since I graduated from high school and the lessons he'd arranged through them finished. He hasn't bugged me for the last few months, so look what I did! Singing lessons on Fridays. Contemporary music, things I like listening to, not opera and lyrics that make me want to puke with their soppyness, such as I put up with all through high school because I sight read, learn music easily, and kept learning the singing teacher out of repertoire. So, I had my first lesson last Friday. I think I'll get along with this teacher - the main thing I was worried about was all the exercises my previous teachers tried to make me do that seemed designed to take my white voice and turn it into a vibrato-crazed clone-voice. She doesn't do those, and would like to expand what I can do into the realm of what she can do, which involves sounding good with modern music and not choir-boy perfect which is what takes very little effort now.

Even more out-of-date news

I quit the markets (my second job)! I now am working only four days a week, which will lead to me being less tired and more stable. Except when we get audited, when I get to work on my day off, making sure everything that vaguely involves me has been done... ie last Friday.

Then I'm playing bridge three nights a week, plus special events. Hopefully I will have the stamina for this - it's enough brainwork that I sleep noticeably more after I play - during a week-long event I'll sleep up to 12 hours a night if I can.

quitting the markets has not only given me time to play bridge almost as much as I want (yay for addictions to mental things) but also time to have singing lessons, time to recover properly from sicknesses, and time to go see some form of professional help for problems both physical and emotional that have been eating at me for a while.

Even more out-of-date news

Speaking of medical problems, I got the final results back from the specialist who did the endoscopy a short while ago. Me=healthy in that respect. No Barrett's Oesophagus, no evidence of other damage, so apparently I've managed to control the reflux well enough that the stomach acids have done no visible damage to anything that they could have.

Then the doctor gave me a prescription for the drugs with side-effects that are working for the reflux, and mentioned that he does re-scripts with phonecalls - which my GP doesn't, policy where she works is that they don't give out scripts without the GP seeing you to make sure that there isn't anything wrong - laughed at my jokes, answered all my questions, made sure I had his card to contact him if I had any more questions, then sent me on my way.

Anyway, most of the side-effects are slowly either becoming less, or I'm adapting to life with them. The only ones that aren't are the increased sensitivity to allergens (meaning perfumes and other artificial fragrances on anything, cigarettes, and some things that we're not quite sure which substance is what I'm actually reacting to) and the dry mouth, which is encouraging me to drink enough water and now I no longer drool in my sleep or when talking or singing.

Bitching.

( Bitch about not-critical medical s***. Includes female bodily functions. )

This mood-picker thingy doesn't have lachrymose! I wanted to say lachrymose, AND have an icon for it. Stuff it, cranky is near enough now.