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More bridge weekend before last - trials for the State Womens' Team. Mum and I just scraped in after what seemed to be only three, maybe four good matches out of 10... Out of 14 pairs who went onto the Finals (which started yesterday) we were either 12th or 13th, depending on who was doing the IMP countback. With 2 VPs less, we'd have been out of the Finals. I don't think we'll get into the Team this year, Mum's working too hard to be rested enough to play coherently, and I'm more focused on the Youth Team, for which it is my second-last year.
Still, I am getting a lot of bitterness about the way I was brought up out of my system in the car when Mum takes me home afterwards. It's been a long time getting her to the point where she's strong enough to hear me speak. She's still not there yet, but me talking about some of the things that have bothered me as they come up in references from other things (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
placeboid, your study was mentioned in the current ABF Newsletter, which was not on their website last time I looked, but it sparked the discussion about Mum and Dad being too tired from work to notice that s*** like that happened, and everyone else assuming that Mum and Dad were protecting me from it... Thanks. I needed to get a little of that anger, and the accumulated fear of many years, out) has given her more things to pray to her god about, for self-forgiveness and less self-guilt-tripping, knowing Mum.
This is good for me. Not so good for her, but I'm trying to let go of the protectiveness slowly. But Mum's so fragile, emotionally, much more than me (which says something...), and I want to take care of her, but I'll be damned if I keep doing so at my own expense.
Still, I am getting a lot of bitterness about the way I was brought up out of my system in the car when Mum takes me home afterwards. It's been a long time getting her to the point where she's strong enough to hear me speak. She's still not there yet, but me talking about some of the things that have bothered me as they come up in references from other things (
placeboid, your study was mentioned in the current ABF Newsletter, which was not on their website last time I looked, but it sparked the discussion about Mum and Dad being too tired from work to notice that s*** like that happened, and everyone else assuming that Mum and Dad were protecting me from it... Thanks. I needed to get a little of that anger, and the accumulated fear of many years, out) has given her more things to pray to her god about, for self-forgiveness and less self-guilt-tripping, knowing Mum.This is good for me. Not so good for her, but I'm trying to let go of the protectiveness slowly. But Mum's so fragile, emotionally, much more than me (which says something...), and I want to take care of her, but I'll be damned if I keep doing so at my own expense.
