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Sustained a visit last night from His Mage Throws Rocks. Bastard brought him home after training and we had a nice chat, and a mutual freakout at needles, and coffee/herbaltea/cocoa (him/me/Bastard). He was kind of stressed, what with already having been stressy before everything he thought he was working for in his personal life disintegrated.
I'd like to share the analogy I used last night, rambling and chatting as is my wont.
A relationship works like horses in harness, pulling a carriage or other vehicle. The horses can snap at each other, they can stumble, but it'll work as long as they're pulling in the same direction. Might not work as fast as you'd like, but it works. The relationship starts to break when the horses are being guided to pull in different directions, when they start straining at the poles or reins, or when you've got catastrophic breakdown, leading to the horses attacking each other such that they cannot pull, and start pushing at the poles to get at each other. Eventually the poles will break. Stress is put on a relationship when the horses shy at something unexpected, or when one is going at a pace the other can't match.
But no matter what, if the horses are pulling together, as directed by whoever is driving the carriage (even if you believe that there is no one there, they're still pulling together, and the carriage itself should be providing feedback to the horse about the position of the other horse(s)), the carriage will get somewhere. The horses can snap at each other, but as long as they're going in the same direction, together, and they're compensating for each other, they won't break the harness, they won't break the poles.
I'd like to share the analogy I used last night, rambling and chatting as is my wont.
A relationship works like horses in harness, pulling a carriage or other vehicle. The horses can snap at each other, they can stumble, but it'll work as long as they're pulling in the same direction. Might not work as fast as you'd like, but it works. The relationship starts to break when the horses are being guided to pull in different directions, when they start straining at the poles or reins, or when you've got catastrophic breakdown, leading to the horses attacking each other such that they cannot pull, and start pushing at the poles to get at each other. Eventually the poles will break. Stress is put on a relationship when the horses shy at something unexpected, or when one is going at a pace the other can't match.
But no matter what, if the horses are pulling together, as directed by whoever is driving the carriage (even if you believe that there is no one there, they're still pulling together, and the carriage itself should be providing feedback to the horse about the position of the other horse(s)), the carriage will get somewhere. The horses can snap at each other, but as long as they're going in the same direction, together, and they're compensating for each other, they won't break the harness, they won't break the poles.
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